W.A.T.C.H.: November 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Illinois Keane and the Temple of Hoops

11/20/08

HuaiHai Institute of Technology

Today I had the pleasure of teaching some second-year students the intricacies of the sentence. I expounded on the endless joys and functions of this fundamental mode of communication. My students now have far more knowledge about the sentence than they could ever hope to put into good use. Sometimes this job is just too much fun…

In my free time I’ve been lending two paddle-sized hands to the woeful Foreign Language Teachers’ basketball squad. Throw in a couple of size thirteen galoshes and nearly two meters of raw American power, and you’ve got one totally revamped basketball squad. I was counting on my natural advantages (impressive frame, athleticism, youth, toughness, etc.) to at least intimidate the other teams in this interdepartmental hoops league. But I think my nationality only served to stoke the competitive fire of the other teams. Remember Beijing? The U.S. handed China an embarrassing loss in the gold medal game. I know the Chinese certainly remember that one.

And I was pretty much running out there alone. I mentioned that youth was one natural advantage that I had working for me. Of course, I’m not that young anymore—the shin splints alone had me walking like John Wayne the day after our first game. In comparison with the other guys out there, I was by far the youngest. It wouldn’t be presumptuous for me to say that I was the most concerned with fitness either. Some of my teammates liked to warm up their lungs before the games with a couple top-grade Chinese cigarettes. Lord only knows what kind of horrors they allow in their smokes over here. That issue aside, I was usually the only one playing defense, grabbing rebounds, passing the ball, hustling, caring at all about keeping the score close, desperately wanting to save face for my country…maybe this last point is saying enough.

I never really felt the competitive drive pump so furiously through my veins as I did when playing ball against these jokers. This is a huge cultural difference between the U.S. and China. Whenever my team missed an open shot or failed to crash the boards I found myself tasting bitter disappointment rising in the back of my throat. Or maybe that was acid reflux? I may have discovered the inherent competition that comes from an American upbringing; and along with that I found an insatiable thirst for victory. It’s safe to say that I haven’t discovered a peaceful center in the tradition of Buddhism or Taoism. But at least I’ve grown more tolerant of chili peppers since being here.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Nightclub Roulette

11/8/08

This city has relatively unpredictable nightlife. It seems that everyone in this modestly-sized[*] metropolis will call or text one another on the happening nights. There must be some mutual consent among the locals that business will be slow the next day; because it seems like the only explanation for such sporadic coordination of club-going is the work of a very organized local network.

For instance, the clubs here in LianYunGang may be packed to the gills on a Tuesday night. I mean queues going out the door. Whereas a Saturday night trip to the club might very well turn out to be a bust. Maybe it has something to do with the presence/absence of entertaining live acts in the clubs. Some random nights of the week will feature kung fu masters doing feats of strength, singing dwarves that balance fire on their chins, or outrageous transvestites in full drag. This is no shit.

But then, other times are just plain un-cool. I would liken these experiences to being in the fan section of a Montreal Expos game (of course I mean when the Expos were still around). And you know what’s even stranger? Some of the crowds on Friday nights are akin to the number of die-hard fans at a Washington Nationals game. Wow, I should lay off that beleaguered MLB franchise. After all, if the team formerly known as the Devil Rays can reverse their fortunes anyone can.

Speaking of fortunes, I was having a conversation with a couple of my students the other day and they were asking questions about astrology. You know, the Daily Horoscope, “today is an 8,” etc. I explained to them that some people do put faith in this notion that the constellation that you were born under—Leo, Gemini, Cancer, Sagittarius, et al—in some way influences your fortune for better or for worse. My students were quick to pick up on that belief, but they were especially focused on the aspects of astrology that pertain to personality. They were very quick to accept the idea of pre-determined character traits for the separate signs of astrology.

It should come as no surprise, I guess. I’m sure there are many similarities to this perpetual zodiac of western culture and the perennial zodiac of Chinese culture. People born during the year of the dragon act a certain way, and people born during year of the tiger act a particular way, and so on and so forth.

However, being the academic authority figure[†] in the discussion, I had to act as the voice of reason. I think they mistook my stance—which was of course a complete dismissal of the zodiac symbols—as a bit cynical. But given the results of the 2008 election, cynicism is definitely out of style. Now is the time for hope. And I’ve been dutifully spreading the message of hope to all of my classes. Except for my class last Friday; I canceled that one because it was raining. And it was all the way over in Donggang. And I would’ve had to take a taxi to get there. My chances of hailing a vacant taxi on a rainy day were as minuscule as the average attendance for Nationals home games. Oh geez, there I go again.