Everybody's talkin' at me...

2/28/09
LianYunGang


I've got another advertisement in the works. And, like my would-be commercial for TsingTao Beer, this ad is specifically geared for audiences in China. Even more specifically, it is designed for audiences here in LYG.
Any foreigner who sets foot in China for more than ten minutes is bound to be harangued by incessant catcalls of "Hello!" everywhere that they go. English speakers tend to reserve this word for greetings or hilarious exclamations (like "Hello Doctor!"). But for a lot of Chinese people this single word encompasses the whole of their English vocabulary, so they like to use it whenever a foreigner is in sight. You'll hear it a lot over here, often enough that you just tend to ignore it after a while.

I had been thinking that the general population could benefit from a new, exciting catchphrase to holler at any foreigners that they see. Is this an effort to reclaim the traditional and ubiquitous greeting of Western culture? Is this a heroic campaign to save 'Hello' from overuse? Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe I just have too much free time on my hands.

Anyway, the efficacy of such a revolutionary new phrase was demonstrated to me in class this past week. Half of my students don't know my name or can't pronounce it, so often times I'm referred to as 'Teacher' in the classroom. This is okay; I don't mind it really. But because I don't readily identify with the title, I sometimes fail to hear students' beckoning in the classroom. Whether my students think of me as deaf or aloof, I'm not quite sure. But I am sure that a jarring—yet familiar—address won't fail to get my attention. I was monitoring some in-class activities on Friday and all of a sudden I heard someone say, "Hey man!" I whirled round to see one of my students looking in my direction. She was wearing a slight grin, knowing that her abrupt and casual utterance had definitely caught my ear.

This is a pretty handy example of a catchphrase with potential out here. But I was hoping for something new, something fresh. I've been out of the loop back home for 6 months now. What are people saying to each other? Is 'What's up' still in vogue? Feel free to leave any comments that you think might help guide me to that one brilliant phrase. The sooner your suggestions come in the better, because I'm trying to come up with a script for the commercial by next weekend.

NOTE: I would like to dedicate this post to my grandfather, Ken, who turned 79 this week. Best wishes Ken and Happy Birthday!

Rolling Thunder, Memory Lane

2/21/09

LianYunGang

I went bowling last night. Prior to last night, I can't recall the last time I rolled. I've got some vague ideas as to where I might have bowled last, but the outcome of the game escapes me. Whatever the results may have been in bygone bowling matches, last night's results will serve as a pleasant benchmark for games to come. I managed—perhaps for the first time in my bowling career—to place first in two consecutive games. Given the international company assembled for last night's ceremonious rolling, I suppose I could call myself the reigning international champion at the HuaiHai Institute of Technology. Perhaps the next step is to survey all the Chinese teachers here and see if they can present a suitable challenge to the throne.
Needless to say, my bowling prospects here in China are shaping out much better than my basketball hopes, or hoop dreams.

Interestingly enough, I believe my last visit to a bowling alley was in Iowa City—the one and only Colonial Lanes. The indelible charms of Iowa have become much more than a memory now. With the start of a new term here at the university a new foreign teacher has arrived: direct from Dubuque, Iowa. And sure enough, she is a fellow Hawkeye. As if it isn't coincidence enough that a fellow alumnus has strolled in from the wintry fields of the Hawkeye state, can you guess what her major was? You might have guessed that she was an English major, much the same as I was. If this was in fact your guess, congratulations, you were right. How fortunate these Chinese students are! They now have two wordsmiths from the storied University of Iowa to dole out tasty nuggets from a collective braintrust and infuse their eager minds with a sample of world-class education. Because what are we Hawkeyes if not world-class? The proof is here in this city and many others across the globe.

Cities & the Sky

Picture yourself in the urban canopy jungle. You are lost in the great concrete reef. You're drowning in the ocean of asphalt. This is transit. This is Shanghai.

Picture the sky in numerous lanes, divided judiciously amongst the taxis, coaches and coupes. Picture the orderly march of axles 200 ft in the air. Can you hear the rubber rolling along, at 50 km/h, over your head? If you can, you're a native of Shanghai.

The true Skyway is here. A massive engineering marvel, Shanghai's ‘High Road’ is the epitome of unsightly urbanization. To relieve traffic problems, the city decided to build itself a bypass above the ground. The bypass is dramatically thrust into the sky. The High Road of Shanghai exists in the lower atmosphere of our planet, no doubt about that; but it dominates the celestial heaven of a local's imagination.

Seen from above, Shanghai must look like the grey mausoleum of some huge octopus. The High Road snakes throughout the metropolis, coiling and bunching like so many tentacles. The High Road casts the underdwellers in shadow, thereby reserving the privilege of direct sunlight for motorists.

Shanghai Nights

During the TaiPing Rebellion, ca. the 1860s, there was one infamous foreign commander among the ranks of the Qing Dynasty's Imperial Army. His name was Ward, and he was such a capable fighter and officer that many of his contemporaries say that he would've made a fine General during the American Civil War. The only thing that prevented his possible ascension through the American military machine was the fact that he was in China during America's war.
Instead of fighting in the States, Ward was commanding a ragtag group of rowdy foreigners—mercenaries is the appropriate term, half of them too drunk to fight on any given day—during one of Imperial China's civil wars. The ones that could stand and fight for the unpopular Qing government were paid handsomely. Ward would recruit the roughnecks for the foreign fighting legion from the seediest locales in Shanghai, frequently picking up unruly characters from the docks or the brothels.
In this current era that discourages the virtues of brazen recklessness, thirst for adventure, and appetite for destruction, Ward would find himself out of place. Even Ward's former base of operations, Shanghai, is a very different place in the world of today. Shanghai is commercial as they come, the principle industry being commerce. And, given the amount of consumers in Shanghai, business is good. This is civilization at its utmost, isn't it? Mmm, not quite right. Perhaps it fails to capture the most idyllic goals of humanity. What then can be said of this lifestyle in Shanghai? Life stretched to the max? Certainly. This awesome scale is one of the most distinguishing characteristics of Shanghai.

One can still find the sort of characters that would've been willing volunteers in Ward's rough-and-tumble regiments though. But, to contrast the darker nature of this city of transients, there is also a posh side to this urban populous. There is a passivity as well. I might even go so far as to say there is an apolitical, anonymous, and apathetic feeling to this city.

Albeit, on a man's worst night in modern Shanghai he can envision himself cut out for Ward's crew. He is able to immerse himself so deeply in depravity and apathy that risking life and limb for an unpopular imperial regime seems like a good scheme. It's a shot at respectability even. Ah, we're a far cry from the days of fortune and glory, that's for certain. But villains abound nonetheless.